Attacked by.....a recollection of events in detail

[shellyky]

Seems like i've been reading alot of: "I found a ______ in my shop" posts lately--here's mine from last weekish
(this is a paste from my facebook, the day it happened, so the story is fresh here and in snippets since you cant type a book LOL)

So Brandt left work to go to an event this evening. Tells me we may have some company coming over later to pick up a little. So he leaves the shop, and i pick some things up, and clean the bathroom up real quick. I come back out and i saw a ribbon on the floor around the corner. I didn't remember leaving a ribbon on the floor so i go to pick it up.

FLIPPIN 6 FOOT BLACK SNAKE

I'm at work, alone...screaming for help. No one can hear me. This snake takes off toward all my safe supplies, like, My shoes, my cell phone, the front door which is locked from the inside, with the key still in it. I hop onto a table and assess the situation while trying to not have a panic attack.

I hop down and go to my desk to grab the landline phone. I somehow remember brandt's cell # and tell him i'm being attacked by a 6-8' long black snake. At this point i'm hyperventalating. I dont know what i'm going to do as this snake is blocking my only exit.

So i get off the phone and watch the snake SLITHER over my flipflops which i left under my other desk...under the embroidery machine, and to the smaller embroidery machine in the corner....all of a sudden the snake is ON TOP of the embroidery machine shelf! like a 2' climb. At this point, i know i'm dying because hes going to climb on my desk and get me.

...I gather weapons which i find close to me which included assorted markers, pens, squeegies, cutting wheels, sand paper, a box, and some tape. The snake starts coming back my way. So i ready my weapons and put them in order of what i need to save as last resorts (the squeegie i felt woudl be a good weapon, its heavy and sharp and could slide if thrown harder)

Snake is now peeping its head out at me from my desk and doing the whole tounge thing. We're 10' apart. Brandt calls his dad to come help me, but he's 30min away so i have to wait this thing out for a while...I call 411 to get animal control so someone can extracate me. No one is there-closed. I realize that i have to come up with a plan to get that key out of the door across the room so i can be saved by anyone.

Meanwhile snake pops out about 6" from the wall. I find 2 rubberbands. One is a regular and one is a massive one like 10" around. I form a rubberband gun. First one is a miss. Second one is a hit on the snakeface and it doesnt even budge! I throw the box, 4 markers, and a pack of camera lens cleaning cloths which dont go too far, they were too light. Nothing detours this stalker

So i try to get rational and get my plan into action. I look around and see that i can use brandt's rolling PC chair to possibly get to the door. I look back...snake is gone. I wait it out 5 minutes or so on the table...snake still gone.... I get down, look over slowly and still dont see him. Doesn't matter. I run back to the PC chair, find a bucket, tuck my landline phone into my waistband, put assorted weapons/supplies into the bucket. Place bucket into chair. I do a couple test rolls to see how this chair rolls true or if it goes to the left

Chair seems good enough. So i get a run at the chair, put my feet up, and skateboard this thing all the way across the room to the door. Checking back, still no snake in sight. I unlock the door and get the keys out so i can be rescued. ... My plan was to open the curtain and stand outside and look in at the snake so i can see where he goes so we can kill him. I get outside and look inside and a storm comes...The rain and wind picks up pretty good so i have to go back inside and stand in this chair

I look and look and look and i still dont see the snake. for all i know it's climbing up my chair. I called my mom and dad and he talked me through it and what to expect if it comes at me. I stood on this chair for maybe 20 more minutes.

the storm passed, meanwhile my cellphone in snake-zone is going off with calls, texts, etc--the word was getting out that i was being attacked an defenseless besides some markers to throw.

Brandts mom and dad finally pulled in and unloaded a hoe and rake out of their trunk. I stayed in the chair until they got inside. He looked around and finally found it coiled up in some wire behind the mini-fridge. Their plan was to scoot it out the front door. So i lifted my pant legs (thats what i do when youre scared of stuff) and ran back to my table in the back... I heard a brief scuffle and the sound of scales on my tile floor. The snake was wrapped up in the rake and he was scooting it out the door.

This was my first real look at my stalker. I didn't like it. He asked me what i wanted to do with him when he got it out there-- i yelled KILL IT! I heard 3 whacks of the hoe on concrete. I knew the job was done and i could lower my pantlegs.

We checked around under and behind stuff to make sure all of the 'black cords' were really 'cords' and not snakes. Seemed like the job was done. About 10 minutes had passed...we went back out to the snake so i could take a picture (pics or it didn't happen right?) and the body was still slithering and contracting without a head. The tail seemed to have light blue screenprint ink on it. So i assume it came from the garage and under my double doors into the office.

[Northland]

That's quite a story..... next time call Donnie Miller for snake wrangling advice.

I figure if something still moves after it's head is off, it's either evil or primative.

[Dottonedan]

Great story. You had me on the edge of my seet the whole time.
I  was afraid more so of the outcome. Those black snakes are our friends. They clean the environment of rodents. I know most are afraid of them and kill them. I am the one everyone calls when they see them. Black snakes are one of the most docile snakes we have. You could have let that thing wrap around your arm and walk it out. More than likely, he was hunting a rodent that got in your shop and he was after it.

A large snake like that had to survive many of natures wraths but nothing gets past a historical woman having to stand on a chair armed with a rubberband. LOL.

[mk162]

the only snake I'll kill is a poisonous one.  Actually, only if it is in a residential area.  We used to have a lot of water moccasins in my old neighborhood, I almost stepped on one once, about a 4' one that was coiled up resting.  Scared the crap out of me.

[screenxpress]

the only snake I'll kill is a poisonous one.  Actually, only if it is in a residential area.  We used to have a lot of water moccasins in my old neighborhood, I almost stepped on one once, about a 4' one that was coiled up resting.  Scared the crap out of me.

Ditto.  I was afraid of the outcome myself. 

But, nature takes care of things.  I'm sure (unless it went in the garbage can) something(s) got a meal that night. 

Really good story though.  You might want to try some literary skills on the side.  Nice 'hooks'.

I used to feel bad when I shot a Dove or Quail and could not find it.  Until I realized that aspect of nature.  Everything has to eat.

[Chadwick]

 
Loved the title.
Why'd you waste the poor snake though?
I realise you were freaked out, but the snake likely was as well.
( there's some crazy human makin noise and actin' all freaky in here... WTF!? )

Made for a good perspective account.
I started picturing it all in cartoon about halfway though, which was frickin' great.

Not making light, just commenting.

Cheers.

[blue moon]

great story! thanx for sharing!

[shellyky]

sorry to bust your bubble guys--couldn't risk the snake coming back in here and getting in another situation--it was for the best unfortunately.

[Sbrem]

good story, Shelly. So you wouldn't have liked my pet Boa Constrictor I had in the '70's I guess, but she was pretty sweet. We called her Linguina...

[Command-Z]

Great story, well told.

But, he did say to expect guests.

[Denis Kolar]

At this point, i know i'm dying because hes going to climb on my desk and get me.

How do you know it was "he" and hot "she"

Good story.

[shellyky]

Great story, well told.

But, he did say to expect guests.

my mind = blown. LOL