an inquiry to die for (or will kill ya)

[mooseman]

This is an actual e-mail I received today. It was sent from a smart phone sent across a town that is 5 square miles. Most of you have received inquiries like this. For you newer folks out there I have hi-lited  the terms that should make you run with my translation of the real message. We politely  sent her to our competitors.
 the actual message
Hello
My mother, Colleen xxxxxxxxx recommended you to me. I am looking to get 5 polo style ladies shirts. I need 1 xs, 3 lg, and 1 xl. I am looking to get two words on the front left side "gucci mamas" and then our last names on the top of the back of the shirt. It's for my bowling league. I am looking for something cost effective and would prefer polyester shirts over cotton. If you could price some shirts out and then the option of screen printing, tee twill and embroidery, u would greatly appreciate it. I am looking to order asap. Please feel free to call with any questions xxx-xxx-xxxx.

Thanks!

Kateri

Sent from my iPhone

Now my translation
Hello,

My mother, Colleen Sxxxxxxxxxx recommended you to me. I am looking to get 5 polo style ladies shirts.
ladies shirt means stylish, trendy, something I am going to like.....you know ladies shirts you pick the colors I am sure they will all fit us just fine. 

 I need 1 xs, 3 lg, and 1 xl.
I need translation ....I am late as hell I really need them because our bowling season has already started so i need them quick, the other 4 broads are pizzed at me already

I am looking to get two words on the front left side "gucci mamas" and then our last names on the top of the back of the shirt.

 translation you can pick the names we don't think enough about our names to even tell you what they are so in your professional opinion you name us.

It's for my bowling league Translation we have a combined IQ of @ 96 and will be back for our camo huntin shirts as soon as we get the bowling shirts.

"gucci mamas".......I am looking for something cost effective and would prefer polyester Gucci and polyester should NEVER be used in the same sentence and cost effective and Gucci DON'T go in the same sentence

 If you could price some shirts out and then the option of screen printing, tee twill and embroidery, translation we want good shirts but don't want to cut into our beer money so just price up everything and we can balance our beer budget from there but the beer is really primary

 I am looking to order asap translation get off your dead ass and get back to me ASAP or you are going to let this hot job get away.

Please feel free to call with any questions 3xx-xxx-xxx5 sure let me jump right on it since you could not use your smart phone to call me


Sent from my iPhone translation compared to her, a hand crank phone would be a "smart phone"

Ok I feel better now
mooseman

[Screened Gear]

Mooseman,

I get this stuff all the time. That’s why I have a minimum of 12 on embroidery and 24 on screen printing. It makes all this small complicated stuff go away. The amount of time it will take to quote out the jobs and find the "right" items for them is not worth "the money they will pay for the items". What was it 5 items? You cannot make enough per item and not feel like you ripped them off. I do feel bad for these people but I can't do a job that small.

I would be careful posting their info on here, this forum is open and they can find it.

Just my 2 cents…

Jon

[Homer]

I have one.  we have this customer, been printing their shirts for a few years, anyone from this company can order, meaning -I don't always deal with the same guy. 1 color crest. super easy. new guy comes in to order, we go over the sizes and options for garments. print out a quote from T-quoter for him to hang up next to the time cards- so he tells me.  about 20 minutes later, he calls me from my competitors parking lot, "hey man, these guys said they would print these 5.00ea cheaper than you, I like you guys and want to do business with you, what can you do on your price" -I said to bring in a written quote and I will look at it, but I have to see what they quoted you on first. So i got to thinking -these guys my "competitors" are so fking stupid for leaving hundreds of dollars on the table. If you are going to undercut me -go a few bucks, not a few hundred. so i was thinking of calling them tomorrow. 

[Fresh Baked Printing]

are so fking stupid for leaving hundreds of dollars on the table. If you are going to undercut me -go a few bucks, not a few hundred.

It's gotta be that guy that only does vinyl and nothing over 1-12, because nobody prints more than 12.

[Screened Gear]

they would print these 5.00ea cheaper than you,

I am sure there is something missing. $5 is way to far off.

[Gilligan]

Some guys from across the neighborhood contacted me a couple of weeks ago and wanted some shirts.  I quoted them on some one color vinyl as it was a small order and a simple design.

They got me the "artwork" (paper with photo of a necklace printed on it... with notes, small left chest and large back... "not the chain" LOL) a few days ago.  Called me today to see if I had the "sample shirt done"... umm... huh?  "Well, we will bring you a shirt after I show my guys one that you do."  Me: "Umm, I don't really do sample shirts, I could do a printout of a mock up"  Them: "yeah, after I get the shirt..."  Me: "Ok, I won't be making a shirt, tell you what... I'll make you guys a sticker, it will be like what I will put on the shirt"  Them: "Ok, sounds good".

So the wife takes the pic of the emblem which is laying down at about a 20 degree angle and makes it happen.  It's a rounded triangle with "MMG" stacked inside it.  We couldn't tell if the G was connected at top or not so we guessed.

Later I go by and show them.  They like it... then they show me the "colors"... which is a pic of a group of guys standing around for a group photo on a cell phone and I am getting the colors from the colors of the shirts they are wearing and a bad description of "turquoise".  I asked them about the G and they said it was right.  Then they ask another guy to show me a pic of the colors but instead he shows me another pic of the symbol... which has no G.

Wait... which one do you guys want?  Yeah, that one... because we have no G in ours.  (huh?  You just clarified the G jackass!)  Ok, no problem, we can do that... email it to me (never got it.)

Another guy steps up and says "how long to do 16 shirts?"  Keep in mind this now is a two color because they want the colors like this <pulls out a shirt that has orange font outlined by at least 1/4" of black.  But they want turquoise and orange *sigh*  He continues saying they need them by Friday because they have a meeting.  I tell them that I can see what I can do.  He says, it has to be by Friday.  I tell them that it is typically a 2 week turn around. Him: "Two weeks!?" me: "Yes, I have other jobs in fact a got a bunch of jobs recently" (which is true, feast and famine, I'm sure you guys can relate).  I told them I will try to take care of them though.

All for 16 freakin shirts that will now be a PITA to do in vinyl do to the outline.. AND double the cost in vinyl.  AND they are bringing me their own shirts.

Fun fun fun... trying to help out a neighbor and their men's group and of course they want it yesterday and change the rules every five seconds.

So I can relate.

[mk162]

I love it when people say...so and so is cheaper, but I'd really like to use you.

I met with a potential customer the other day.  He's russian...and cheap.  I am sure he isn't the cheapest in town for what he does, but hey what does that matter, he should be the cheapest on where he buys his wearables.  Good luck when that bites you in the butt.  It might not be apparel, but somewhere, it will happen.

And his printed cards looked like crap, so I know he either does them off his laser printer or gets them online...and not from a decent company.  They looked horribly printed.

[Donnie]

Last year, I lost a few big event jobs to "lowballers".  I took on some PIA jobs last year after my wife reminded me that something is better than nothing. You do this PIA once and they expect it every time.  Well my big jobs came back and I knew they would after seeing some of the "sh!t" they got for cheap and my PIA jobs are taking up way too much time.  The price for PIA is going way up.

[Homer]

I love it when people say...so and so is cheaper, but I'd really like to use you.

I met with a potential customer the other day.  He's russian...and cheap.  I am sure he isn't the cheapest in town for what he does, but hey what does that matter, he should be the cheapest on where he buys his wearables.  Good luck when that bites you in the butt.  It might not be apparel, but somewhere, it will happen.

And his printed cards looked like crap, so I know he either does them off his laser printer or gets them online...and not from a decent company.  They looked horribly printed.

for some reason -I want to say this guy does commercial disaster cleanup like servo pro. . .am I close?

you know how you get that gut feeling that a customer is going to be a total PITA? I had that with this hair salon, I wondered why they were coming to me from about 45 miles away. . .now i know. . .I don't even want to open their e-mails anymore. . . and since when are we in the short order business? Every order I have is " how fast can I get it?" deadlines of like 3-4 days and art isn't even started yet and they have NO idea what they want. . .or send me lists of names with typos that they catch a few days after they gave it to me. . . .wtf. . . .I'm going to find me a sugar mama and call it a day. . .

[mk162]

Pretty close...drywall contractors.

I figured I wouldn't get it.